Tiny humans

My day largely consists of babies and everything related to them! I don't mind one bit.

Seeing the world through their eyes for the first time is amazing. Today, our oldest started coloring for the first time! She has been playing with crayons for a couple of months now but today she scribbled all by herself.  Our youngest has started smiling and laughing.

Not all days are sunshine and roses though. Some days are tough :/ my babies cry I cry it's a mess! On those days I feel like I can't do enough, I am not enough, and honestly I feel like I have failed. On those days I think that I am bat-shit crazy to ever want to have kids again! Then I get that moment of peace and time to reflect on my day and other days and realize how truly blessed I am. My journey to motherhood was filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and a couple of dead ends. However, my journey, even though it was tough, was much easier than many women. At the worst part of my journey, it gave me an absolute unshakable faith in God. 

Really? During the worst? YES!! without a doubt. I wouldn't have the faith that I have now if it weren't for that horrible moment. Early in my journey I prayed for God to guide me on the path he had laid out for me. I promised to follow his path and not try to make my own. I asked for guidance and prayed that the his journey, and the decision to follow it, would be easy and bring me peace. I knew that if I was fighting for something that wasn't meant to be, it would cause me pain, anguish and make me question my faith in God. In my worst moment I knew that all of this pain was caused by me, me fighting for something that wasn't meant to be. No matter how badly I wanted it, it just wasn't meant to be. God had a different plan. 

Oh Boy has God's plan been good! I have an amazing husband who supports me on my worst days, and celebrates with me on my good days. I have not one but two!!! beautiful girls that are the light of my life. Even though this has all come to me much later in life than I wished for, it was what was laid out for me and I am blessed. 

"Faith is not knowing God can, it is knowing God will." If you believed and practiced this phrase, what would change in your life? How could your life be different. 

                                                      "Learning to accessorize!"

Today was a good day. I felt confident in my mommy abilities and accomplishments. Today I am thankful for this day, it is what will get me through the not so good days. 

-out the door dinosaur-